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"When it's real you can't walk away."

 Every girl grows up dreaming about her wedding day and marrying her prince and living happily ever after am I right ladies? Well sadly in today's world relationships and true love are hard to find and keep. Throughout my life I had many friends find the "One" , and I watched happy for them but sad for me. I think when it really hit home for me was when my baby sister got engaged and started to plan her wedding. I am so happy for her and her fiance is an amazing guy, but somehow I kept asking myself when was it going to be my time? I am educated, smart,ambitious, caring and will give anyone anything that they need, but somehow could not have that great connection with someone.  Is it me or my expectations?


So let me back it up a bit while a junior in high school my father had an affair and it broke my heart.  My parents were the true love story met as kids married at 18 and started a family. They built an amazing life for themselves and us.  We always had our own home,latest clothing trends and gadgets.  We had the perfect family life with laughter and love and the perfect Sunday afternoon drives so how did this happen? As a kid I couldn't understand how this could happen if they truly loved each other? I just remember looking at my mom with tears in her eyes and looking like all she has ever known was taken away from her.  At that moment at 16 years old I vowed to myself no matter where life took me that I will never depend on a man for nothing.  Now don't get me wrong my mom being 18 and the world we lived in at the time was totally different, my mom had never been to a club or bar she went from her parents home to living with her husband.  She never got to experience girl's nights or girls' trips, or clubbing nights.  

 When we sold our home in Dartmouth I remember just looking at my mom I wanted to take all her pain away and fix it all but didn't know how to, I Just remember just hugging her and watching her wanting her to eat or drink as she hadn't done so in days.  We then had moved back to Fall River which was a total shock to us we grew up with our own bedrooms, huge yard ,basket ball court and pool, to an apartment where we had to share bedrooms.   It was a huge adjustment for us and my mom but we made it though. Months flew by and my parents worked on their marriage and ended up getting back together.  Happy Dance! My parents are an amazing couple who hit a rough patch but were willing to go the extra mile to rekindle their relationship, which is very rare in today's world, it's just easier to walk away and move on while blasting your every move on social media hoping it gets back to your ex.  So in 2019 my sisters and I through my parents the wedding they never had an deserved after everything they had been through and it was amazing! They were married on their 38th anniversary.  My dad cried watching my mom walk down that aisle and right then and there I knew true love could survive anything life throws at it.  Here is a picture of them on their big day.






So back to me not finding the "One" is it because I have this high strung sense of what I expect?  Possibly  but I am not going to settle just to settle.  I want someone who looks at me like my father looks at my mother, I want to take care of my husband like my mom does to my dad each and every day.   Now my vow to myself was to experience all aspects of life and be independent so no one can take it away from me.  Am I too dominate? Is that my problem?  I ask myself that question daily but I will not change how I am .  So I will continue to date in hopes that I one day will also find my prince charming.   The title of this blog speaks volumes to me because if it is real you won't walk away from each other you will work on it together. 


Stay tuned for my dating adventures I am sure it is going to be a bumpy one :)

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