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Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.

 As a 36 year old woman I have just became familiar with the latest trending dating situation called "ghosting".  If you aren't sure what that means it is when you've been seeing someone romantically and suddenly they just stop talking to you.  No texts messages, snaps or calls, they have basically cut you off entirely, leaving you questioning yourself "What did I do wrong"?


Dating today in itself is so confusing and hard how can there possibly be another situation to worry about? At my age you think men would be ready to settle down but no they are looking for the next best thing.  Casual sex, no strings attached sex has become the new normal.  Many of my friends often talk about this and how low there expectations are of actually finding someone to date seriously as we have all had terrible experiences.  If communication is the key in a a relationship why do people ghost?


I believe people ghost because it's easier to pull away then to deal with the lack of interest or if they are emotionally unavailable.  Some may think it's better for them to just stop talking to you rather then explain to you why.  Which to me is so childish. Communication is key people!  What do you do when you have been ghosted?  Most importantly do not overreact and keep your cool!   Don't send a long text or email asking why he/she is acting like this.  If you feel like you need to talk to them I would call instead of messaging.  






Is ghosting the result of more people dating online? I believe so it's so much easier to online date. You download and app and filter out for what your looking for and boom you meet matches so easy.  Yes dating apps can be fun and very user friendly but can you find someone  looking for a serious relationship?  As a new online dater and my experience Nope! Don't want to seem like a debbie downer but from my experiences this is how I feel. It is so easy to treat some one as they are disposal to you in the world of online dating.  


What makes someone ghost? Is it because you get to clingy, were they just looking for a hookup but didn't say that? No one knows the answer to this question but the ghoster  to be honest.  I myself was just recently ghosted.  Mind you he found me on facebook sent me a message and we went from there.  Decided to meet had a great first date amazing conversation.  He told me he had been single for 3 years and looking to get back in a relationship again.  We spent hours talking, he came over for movie nights and we just clicked so well.  Then one night he was supposed to come over and cook dinner his idea btw and never showed up. Sent him a text and he never responded.  Sorry I know my worth and will not be asking him why I am all set.  I feel like at 38  you can have a conversation with someone and there is no need to ghost someone. 


Getting ghosted by someone you really like sucks.  You don't know what went wrong, and there is sadly no closure.  You're just left to sit around and think about all the things you could have maybe done differently, when in reality it has nothing to do with you it is on the other person.


In closing if you were ghosted it was probably meant to be, they were not the one for you.


XOXO

Jessica




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