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"There is no love like the first."

 Do you ever totally forget your first love? Every time I hear someone's first love story I always reflect back on my own.  The only unique thing about my love story was I was a teenager from a small suburban town and Joshua was 3 years older than me a city boy, with a little wild side. Everyone says you were to young to know what love was. I know what love was and it was what I had with him.






Here is my story.


When I was a teen I was a romanticist. I always believed in that fairy tale love that you see in movies.  I always believed one day I would find that love that takes your breath away.  


Life has a crazy way of working out, I did meet him when I was a sophomore in high school.  It was while working at my first job.  I was 16 he was 19. We both came from different backgrounds but somehow we worked.  He was tall,charming, handsome and had the most gorgeous blue eyes I could get lost in forever.  From the moment I walked into that orientation meeting I locked eyes with him and my heart dropped. I couldn't explain or understand this feeling I had never felt this way before.  We instantly hit it off.  He was so sweet and thoughtful.   After orientation we had to further our training at other local stores ,there were over 100 new employees that were hired, but he and I were the only ones that ended up at the same store.  Was it faith?  I wondered this all night after receiving the email.  I was so excited  I couldn't sleep.  Wondering if him and I would talk or even hangout now that we would be working together.  


I was hired as a cashier he was hired for the bakery. He worked nights like me as he worked construction during the day and I was in school still.   The first day of work I walked inside to punch in and there he was my heart again skipped a beat and I was so nervous! He greeted me right away Hi Jess! He is lucky I let him call me that I hate when people call me that lol.  His smile was contagious and those eyes omg!  I couldn't even focus on punching in I was so nervous.  On my way down the stairs with him he wished me a good shift and he went his way I went my way.


His area of the store closed earlier than mine. So this first night he punched out and decided to come upfront and bag for me till my shift ended.  I was so nervous but somehow once we started talking he calmed me down and everything just seemed natural.  Once my shift was over he walked me outside and asked for my phone number! We exchanged numbers.   I was so shocked and happy that he finally asked.  I gave him my number. He didn't get on a white horse and ride into sunset like prince charming does.  Instead he got on his motorcycle which made him 100 times hotter, and rode off.


About 2 hours later my phone was going off I had a text from him! Cue the butterflies from just me looking at his name.  We talked for 3 hours just getting to know each other.  I didn't want to hangup I could have spent forever talking to him.  The next day we worked again he asked to give me a ride home, I had to lie to my parents and say my friend was bringing me home luckily he had his car that night and not his bike.  Now keep in mind I had a curfew and lived with my parents and I was not supposed to date.  He was 19 and lived alone how was this gonna work? I didn't care I was gonna figure out a way. 


Months rolled by and Josh made me feel like I was the only girl in the world, he would do cute things like buy me flowers, leave sweet notes in my locker or take me out to dinner, or my favorite date which was a picnic on the beach.  I was on cloud nine.  Suddenly every love song made sense to me.   About 2 months in from us working together, and talking every night he asked me to be his girlfriend.  I was so happy! I felt like he was my prince charming for sure! 


Josh was my first kiss, love and first sexual partner.  Everything just seemed perfect like right out of a movie.  Sadly with us both being young our love wasn't exactly picture perfect. There were many emotions involved jealousy,anger, and bitterness to name a few.  Our relationship how many highs and lows but I still wanted us to work it out.   A combination of my parents forbidding I date this "bad" boy and him being older than me and us being at two different stages in life is what finally broke us up.  

After we broke up I quit my job because seeing him everyday was like having someone rip my heart out of my chest repeatedly.  Josh and I went years without seeing each other then randomly on a night out with my friends I ran into him at a club. 

 As soon as we locked eyes all those feelings came rushing right back.  My mind took me right back to all those memories I had with him.  We spoke briefly and caught up quickly.  He told me had a girlfriend and they were living together.  Somehow I was instantly jealous of her as she was spending days and nights with him and it was not me.  I told him I had to go find my friends he grabbed my hand and hugged me and I felt so safe in his arms like this is where I am supposed to be.  I said goodbye kissed him on the cheek and haven't seen him it has been about 12 years now.   

I have since looked for him all over social media and couldn't find him.  If your reading this Joshua I just want you to know you were my first true love, I have never felt like this for anyone else since you and I hope you are happy and well.  Maybe our paths will cross in another lifetime. 

XOXO,

Jessica

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