Single girl looking for love in a lonely world!

 I often ask myself "Where's my happy ending"?   I am the type of person whether you are family, friend or a potential partner I give you all of me good and bad.  Sometimes I often let people take advantage of me and that is one of my weaknesses for sure.   I have always craved that fairy tale love and have never seemed to find it, or keep it, yet I have friends who have and have thrown it away for a cheap one night stand or a summer fling why? Why can't anyone just be happy when they find someone who gives them their all?   Should I sacrifice my wants and needs for what comes to me and is convenient and just settle? Now don't get me wrong I do have a "list" of what I am looking for in a man. Some of my friends say I am crazy for having a "list", but I disagree I have worked very hard my whole life to get where I am today and wants someone who also has goals and inspirations and not living in mommy and daddy's basement. Am I wrong for this?

Looking back growing up as a teenager I was never considered a plus size.  I was an active child always playing basketball or running or even bike riding with the neighborhood kids.  However back then I always had low self confidence because my younger sister Jennifer was like a 0 or 2 and here I was a size 12/14.    I remember just always wondering why she got to be so small and I was so "big".   I don't think it really started to bother me until I was a freshman, during this time your body is already going through crazy emotions with puberty and now to through this in the mix oh boy!    I remember going school clothes shopping with my parents and her and I did not want to come out in anything as I thought my sister Jennifer is going to look better than me because she is so "small."  Why didn't I look like my baby sister? Why was I not a size 2? What was wrong with me?  I just remember just feeling so bad about myself and quite honestly now as an adult ther

 As a 36 year old woman I have just became familiar with the latest trending dating situation called "ghosting".  If you aren't sure what that means it is when you've been seeing someone romantically and suddenly they just stop talking to you.  No texts messages, snaps or calls, they have basically cut you off entirely, leaving you questioning yourself "What did I do wrong"? Dating today in itself is so confusing and hard how can there possibly be another situation to worry about? At my age you think men would be ready to settle down but no they are looking for the next best thing.  Casual sex, no strings attached sex has become the new normal.  Many of my friends often talk about this and how low there expectations are of actually finding someone to date seriously as we have all had terrible experiences.  If communication is the key in a a relationship why do people ghost? I believe people ghost because it's easier to pull away then to deal with the lac

"No strings attached sex" is bullshit.  As my first experience of "no strings attached" sex didn't go so well.  I have never had an issue with people having a one night stand, booty call or friends with benefits situation to each it's own.  It's the phrase "no strings attached" that I despise.  It never ends up being that easy no matter how it started.  Sadly "no strings attached" became the next best thing for a man or a woman who is afraid of commitment. In reality, no strings attached  sex is used in many different scenarios: sex with strangers, sex with friends who we do not want romantically or even drunk sex.  Often we use this situation if we have just broken up with a partner, or looking  for some sort of validation that you are sexy and men crave you, or  just wanting to try out that hot bartender that you and your friends are crushing on.   Why does it end up being so complicated if it comes from two consenting adults? I'

 What happened to that old school love?  I recently have been binge watching romantic movies and it made me question this?  What happened to when a guy would come to your doorstep to pick you up with flowers and even open your car door?  Or that love that consisted of morals,values and honesty? I had recently gone on a date with a guy that seemed perfect.  We talked about everything under the sun, he even brought up the whole sex thing and not wanting to rush into it.  At this day and age that is almost unheard of, most guys are just on the prowl for the next notch in their belt.  So he comes to pick me up for the first time and he never even got out of the car?  Why? Now don't get me wrong I am a very independent woman but it would have been nice for him to come to the door for the first time when picking me up.   Society has changed this world so much that men don't feel the need to do this anymore.  In today's world social media runs it.  Men are not the only ones to bla

 Do you ever totally forget your first love? Every time I hear someone's first love story I always reflect back on my own.  The only unique thing about my love story was I was a teenager from a small suburban town and Joshua was 3 years older than me a city boy, with a little wild side. Everyone says you were to young to know what love was. I know what love was and it was what I had with him. Here is my story. When I was a teen I was a romanticist. I always believed in that fairy tale love that you see in movies.  I always believed one day I would find that love that takes your breath away.   Life has a crazy way of working out, I did meet him when I was a sophomore in high school.  It was while working at my first job.  I was 16 he was 19. We both came from different backgrounds but somehow we worked.  He was tall,charming, handsome and had the most gorgeous blue eyes I could get lost in forever.  From the moment I walked into that orientation meeting I locked eyes with him and my

 As a single woman dating in today's world the question I ask myself all the time when getting to know someone is he too good to be true? Sadly dating has changed so much and people lie so much it's hard to believe anything you hear.  So my most recent dating "experience" comes this charming guy.   So randomly sitting on the couch reading a book when my phone goes  off on facebook saying that "Bob" sent you a friend request.  So I casually look at Bob's profile and see we have so many mutual friends now my mind starts to wonder did I meet him somewhere back in the day maybe a club or a bar?  So anyways I accept it then he starts to pursue me all day by liking status and pictures.  Later on that evening my phone is going off that I have a message it's Bob he starts off so charming, saying sorry for the flood of likes today with a winky face, from there the conversation developed.  I found out he had a car,job, his own place, no kids and never been mar

  Being in a relationship is an amazing thing if you have found the right person. However if they are not the one for you, you will slowly see yourself  changing.  So how do you know if your with the right person? We obviously all have different views on this.  To me the right person for you brings out the best in you always.  They will be your support system, your shoulder to cry on, lover,fighter,provider.  Now don't get me wrong I am 100% independent but we all crave that security and intimacy to make us feel whole.  My past relationships had some of these qualities but not all and something always felt off, was it just me or did they feel it to? How can you be all these things for someone if you don't feel the same way towards them? You can't force the heart to do anything the heart wants what it wants.  The most important aspect in all of this is self love! If you do not love yourself you cannot love someone else as you should. After my last relationship of 9 years I w

 Every girl grows up dreaming about her wedding day and marrying her prince and living happily ever after am I right ladies? Well sadly in today's world relationships and true love are hard to find and keep. Throughout my life I had many friends find the "One" , and I watched happy for them but sad for me. I think when it really hit home for me was when my baby sister got engaged and started to plan her wedding. I am so happy for her and her fiance is an amazing guy, but somehow I kept asking myself when was it going to be my time? I am educated, smart,ambitious, caring and will give anyone anything that they need, but somehow could not have that great connection with someone.  Is it me or my expectations? So let me back it up a bit while a junior in high school my father had an affair and it broke my heart.  My parents were the true love story met as kids married at 18 and started a family. They built an amazing life for themselves and us.  We always had our own home,lat

As in my about me this blog is going to be about how I balance my business, family and love life in this crazy world. Single ladies you know where I am coming from with the dating mess nowadays. After being in a dead end relationship where I felt like a mom for 9 years I had decided to end it and move on with my life. It was the best decision I have ever made for myself. As I had felt like I lost my groove just like Stella had. As the months rolled by it was like a breath of fresh air daily. It feels amazing to learn new things about myself and learning to love myself more as each day goes by.  I hope you will stay tuned for this crazy ride we call life together.